Context: I have had recurring dreams since returning to America about either going back to the job I held there for the longest time (12 years) or simply returning there to live and work again. In each of these dreams, the situation has always been fairly chaotic in that there was a good deal to accomplish before leaving and the deadline for departure was very, very soon. Often, there were enormous amounts of items (clothes, furniture, sundry possessions) strewn chaotically about the room I had to clear and I felt considerable stress and panic at having to try and sort through everything before the deadline. This dream, or ones like it, have occurred at least four times previously.
The Dream: I was talking to my former boss, Darryl, about coming back to work at the company and I told him after he said he'd give me my old job that I loved him. This was an expression of platonic affection, not romantic. (Note: Recently, Darryl "came out" to me on Facebook after having known me since around 1991. When he told me that he was gay, but felt bad that he had never told me, I told him that I had known all along (and I had), but I loved him all the same.)
Unlike previous dreams in which I had been planning to go back to my old job or Japan in which I had to sort through tremendous, seemingly insurmountable piles of stuff in order to go, I was in a relatively clear room and there was a small pile of clothes and a few other items that could easily be picked up and put into a single suitcase.
Analysis: I think that returning to my former job/Japan are metaphors for finding peace of mind or adjustment to life in America. The enormous clutter that I perceived in former dreams was all of the psychological baggage between me and feeling okay about being back in America. Recently, I've had some revelatory experiences (more on that in a future post when I have the time as it is complex) here that have helped me progress to a state of greater understanding and peace. While I still cannot say that I am "happy" here, I can say that I'm moving closer to at least not fighting back so hard.
Interpretation confidence scale rating: Since this was a progression of a dream that I've had so many times and that started with my life in America, it feels very much that this is an indication of some psychological progress. 9.5 out of 10
No comments:
Post a Comment
Your comments are welcome, but only if they are offered with respect and demonstrate that you have actually read what was said. I won't tolerate insults, straw man arguments, or bad attitude. Pretend you're talking to your boss to help put you in the right frame of mind. You can disagree, but be nice about it. Comments are moderated. There will be a delay in publishing them. Any comment that violates my rules won't be published.